Starting to get excited about Miami. Our hotel does a free shuttle from the airport. Win. It’s easier to get excited thinking about it as many small holidays.

Alex is currently working out how many miles we’re going to travel over the course of the year. Great, I’ve been pulled from my manageable chunks to the mammoth expedition overview.

Bloody hell. Back to Miami. I’ve decided I’m going to have ice cream and Mariam has instructed me to go to the cheesecake factory. But there’s one last thing I need before we set off: swimwear.

During my last week at work I scared Andy and Matt by shouting at the computer while trying to find a tankini (that’s a bikini with a vest-style top, that covers you up like a full swimsuit but allows you to go to the toilet without getting stuck).

I’m trying to find one that isn’t a halter neck. You ever tried carrying your boobs with your neck? It hurts. Everyone has tried weighing at least one boob at some point and they aren’t light. I want two straps, is that too much to ask?

I get to Lincoln and start look again after being unsuccessful in London. I’m trying on millions in sports direct, that was, after we could get them down from the highest display in the world. Seriously, I’m surprised we even bothered sticking around in that shop.

Then I had an epiphany. Fuck the tankini style. Who gives a shit if I’ve got my tummy out? Sure it’s a bit wobbly but I’m stressing myself out trying to find a style that will be alright for everyone else. I’d convinced myself that a tankini was my only option.

So, determined to find something I spent 40 minutes in Debenhams (because it had the biggest range) simply picking out anything I liked the look of. Tankini, bikini, swimsuit, the lot. And I found it! It’s not a tankini but it’s a beautiful high neck bikini with a stunning, colourful pattern and I feel fabulous. It covers me up in the right places, has straps and won’t fall off if I dive bomb in a pool.

Travelling rule number one: fuck rules.

(Don’t worry, I’ll get to blogging about actual travel experiences soon)